Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

What are the psychological reasons behind an extreme obsession with another human being?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do introverts celebrate their birthday?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

How can people balance religious beliefs with seeking professional mental health care?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is after school detention like in your school?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Is LGBTQ destroying the world?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

When did Elon Musk fall from grace?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do so many FtM people act like MtF people don't exist and what the hell am I supposed to do as an MtF person?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do men say women hit the wall at 24?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane